When we consider other artists' work a lot of times we focus on their technique, their fandom, their style. And we wish we could have that. I used to covet all of that, but I've come to covet something much differently.
I am part of an online community that shares our artwork, upsets and successes and our wishes. We share our milestones. One milestone that I have seen often is the proclamation of being able to quit their full/part time job in order to focus solely on their artwork. It gives me great joy to be able to read that on my computer screen. It's a great reprieve from all of the nasty comments about the current political pundit, videos of planned parenthood, and overall bitterness and angry status updates and memes.
But I have a confession...
I turn green with jealousy and hot with envy every time I read one.
I wish I could post something like that myself. I wish I could work on my art all day long. I would get so much done. I would be able to plan and stage such elaborate photographs that I've always wanted to shoot. I would be able to go scouting for locations. I would be able to market myself more/better. I would be able to create the community of fine art photographers I've been wanting. There are so many things I could do. If I were able to be a full time art photographer.
The harsh reality some days is that I can't be a full time artist and photographer. I have given my life, willingly, to being a mom. Some days it's hard to accept that, when all I want to do is finally finish an image that has been sitting on my computer for weeks. And some days I'm down right angry that I can't work on my art. But I know that one day I'll get there. The clock is counting down, it may still say five years and nine months to go. But one day, one day I will be a full time artist.
It does me no good to cover their time. It only makes me more sad, more upset. All I can do is the best with the time that I do have, however fleeting and often non-existant it is. Because even the little bit of time there is, when used wisely in a manner that will make me happy is better than nothing. And that is something worth coveting.